Subject: Fwd: Diary of a Cat and Dog
 

>
>EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY
>
>Day number 180
>8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
>9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
>9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
>10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
>11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
>12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
>1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
>4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
>5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
>5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
>
>Day number 181
>8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
>9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
>9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
>10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
>11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
>12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
>1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
>4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
>5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
>5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
>
>Day number 182
>8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
>9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
>9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
>10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
>11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
>12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
>1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
>1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
>4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
>5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
>5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
>
>EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY
>
>DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
>objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry
>cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the
>mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
>Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
>
>DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet
>while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the
>stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
>again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on
>their bed.
>
>DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in
>attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike
>fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good
>little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
>
>DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason
>I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a
>burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such
>a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my
>teeth.
>
>DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
>placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise
>and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer". More
>importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of
>"allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
>
>DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
>snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
>return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to
>be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports
>my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety
>is assured.
>
>But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...